Q&A #2 - online hate, baby number 2 & our decision to put our lives online.

What inspires you?

So much inspires me these days.  I think through all our darkness, human beings are incredibly inspiring. I am talking less about grand technological advances and more about the beauty of compassion. Nurses inspire me. Doctors inspire me. The school teacher that nobody thinks twice about but has shaped the lives of countless children over the years. Every time I see someone doing something for the good of another I am inspired. The world is such a wonderful, inspiring place...it's just sometimes hidden by the shadows.

What books do you recommend?

Oooo so many! Here is a list of some of my current favourites...

  • Power of now
  • The Shack
  • Autobiography of a Yogi
  • Sufism - transformation of the heart
  • Joy
  • A road less travelled

Baby number 2?

We are talking about it. It's no secret that we found Daisy incredibly challenging and we want to make sure we are ready mentally and physically to take on the challenge of the early days again. At the same time, we know our chances of having a second child are greater the sooner we try. It's something that will happen when it's right. Exciting though ey!!

Are you still sober? If so do you get urges to drink and how do you not give in? 

I am still sober which is a miracle. Coming up to three and a a half years now. I can honestly say i no longer get urges at all. That didn't happen over night though. I work a twelve step program and it's the foundation that all the beautiful things in my life arise from.

Do you and Ebony ever get 'hate' and how do you react?

Good question. Yes we do. I'd like to say it doesn't bother me and it's just something that comes with the job. I'd be lying though. I'm human. Words hurt. I've learnt though (as I've written before) to see past the hate and into the pain that has caused someone to reach out in that way. Hurt people hurt people. I am not the best Dad, not the best partner and not the best friend. I know that every day I do my best though and every day I try to grow. That allows me to brush off some people's comments a little easier.

Do you have a routine that helps with anxiety? 

I don't have a particular routine but I do have certain things I do on near enough a daily basis to keep my head calm and stable. These include...

  • Walking
  • Gratitude list
  • Waking up before 6am
  • Reading
  • Sharing how I feel
  • Helping others
  • Reading the Just For Today card

Do you think it's healthy for Daisy to be on social media and part of your job?

This is such a tough and complicated question that I didn't want to ignore it. This question provokes fierce opinions and that it totally understandable. The truth is I don't know. It's something i'm wrestling with on a daily basis.

I do think Daisy's involvement has negative implications and at times can be unhealthy. I think the reasons for this are clear. Saying that, I think every job a parent does (or doesn't do) has implications, whether it's a highflying business man who is only home at the weekend or a unmotivated mother who flickers between part time work. It all matters. I think we live in an imperfect world and sometimes the only thing we can do is make sure our decisions are made in love.

Even though what we do has obvious drawbacks, I do think there are some incredible positives to the life that we live and in my opinion (and it is only my opinion) they make what we do totally worth it. That may sound like quite a generalised statement but believe me, I've given it real thought. So much in fact that I changed my whole life on the weight of those words. Let me explain.

Up until very recently I worked in the music industry, director of a company that I'd poured my heart and soul into. I loved it but like everything it had it's drawbacks. After we had Daisy I knew something had to change. I didn't like the person I was becoming, I was stressed, uncharacteristically ruthless and caught up in monetary gain. I also knew the more the company's success grew, the less time I'd have at home for family.

During this time the channel me and Ebony set up on YouTube had started to kick off and (amazingly) was making enough money for us to pay the bills. I had arrived at a crossroads. Life had dealt me two paths and I wanted to make the decision best for Daisy.

I chose YouTube. Why? Because although it isnt perfect, this job allows Daisy to have a Dad that is with her every single day and never misses a moment. It allows Daisy two parents working together in love. Most importantly I guess, it allows me to live a life of love, care and compassion rather than competition and ego. It enables me to teach my daughter the same value. It isnt perfect and I will no doubt be reevaluating the decision over time. For right now though, I believe it's the best thing for our family :)

Thank you so much for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the above in the comments x